A Joke About Noah's Second Ark And The Real Noah's 2nd Ark

From the net, By Anonymous: "In the year 2004, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the planet has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the ceaseless rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard, but no ark.

Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.

We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark.."

Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Hope you liked the joke and the fictitious Noah's Second Ark narration...

However, please note that there will really be a Noah's 2nd Ark - read The Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark available on Amazon. Click this link to know more.

This time God won't warn any Noah about the end of this world due to global warming and climate change. We'll have to watch the signs of large-scale disasters happening around the globe due to the atmospheric temperature rising alarmingly! But we may hope that God won't prevent us from building a second ark.

Keywords: Noah's 2nd Ark, Global Warming, Climate Change, Noah's Second Ark, Nuclear War, Third World War, End of the World.

The Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark - Next Gen Sc-fi Thriller

This sci-fi thriller available on Amazon and pothi.com covers a great topic- the global warming & climate change. By seeing the title, The Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark, I thought it's a religious book. However, the subtitle explained it. 

Everybody wants to see our mother Nature in awesome shape as long as we live here. But if we don't stop global warming, we'll have to face Noah's 2nd Ark - that's a clear message the book gives! 

If some set points in Earth's temperature map are crossed, then global warming may go beyond our control and there won't be a Plan B for survival! Climate change will then wreak havoc and it'll be the man-made apocalypse that'll be in store for the world. 

The way The Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark narrates the making of a lightspeed spacecraft looks so realistic - at times, we'll be confused whether it's fiction or a new invention! Similarly, time travel and hyperspace jumps are explained in a hitherto unheard of manner - innovative and thrilling. 

Another interesting point is the description of a new world order and the different alliance groups the Nations make in case of a global catastrophe. We haven't learned anything from the 2nd world war. 

After going through the book, Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark- Apocalypse & Hyperspace Jumping, we suddenly realize that it's not simple fiction, but it has some prophetic elements - and a touch of prediction of severe dangers lurking in the skies. let's try to prevent that situation coming on us because it'll be a never-ending nightmare! Now what to do to avoid it? Thankfully Noah's 2nd Ark has the answers too!  

The exciting space romance and a light-ray of hope give us immense relaxation amidst those lurking dangers. Never read a science fiction this passionate and thought-provoking.

How to Effectively Motivate Your Contractors or Temporary Field Staff

If you are a small business owner, this discussion will benefit you to improve the job proficiency of your contingent workforce, that is, the independent contract employees. The trick here is to motivate your temporary field staff or the contractors, so they give the maximum output and achieve the best results. 

Convince them the freedom and profitability possible through contract jobs. Tell them that it’s a great option to work for an already established company that guarantees their work, and also gives them great flexibility in choosing their task lists. If possible, give them the dream option of independently growing their business by owning your franchise. 

The following tips can bring out the best in your contractor:

Assessment and Feedback

Appreciate a job well done, and correct them when the expected standard is not obtained. Rather than bossing around or blaming abruptly, convince the person that the job can be done differently and in a better way. He or she will be happy to learn a new technology from a person with positive attitude. 

Create Trust and Motivate 

Show them that you care for them to build a good relationship.   For that good communication is essential. The staff members should feel that you have a genuine interest in their family, interests, and career plans etc. Invite them to social gatherings like team lunches, tea party and business seminars along with your own permanent employees. This will help to develop a bond and it’s highly likely that they may take up repeat work. 

Proper Briefing  

Some motivational speakers from your HR dept should first conduct a meeting with the contractors to highlight the importance of your company’s mission, your values, quality assurance, and how important you treat your customers. Your technicians can also share some trade job tips concerning your business services; may it be landscaping, plumbing, snow removal, HVAC and pest control etc. 

Set Expectations without Ambiguity 

After giving the briefing about your mission, clients, and work culture, you should provide the contractors with clear-cut instructions and information about the context of the particular task they are undertaking. Never assume things- as both the contractor and your company are new to each other, take time to educate them regarding the quality of work expected. Brief them clearly about your competency standards and how precisely you measure the quality of a task.   

Never Be Late to Pay Your Contractors 

Be transparent in paying the contractors. On time payments, even for tryouts, on par with industry standards is a must for contractor retention and goodwill.   

Remember, contractors can act as word of mouth marketing representatives for your small business. They can make or break your reputation in front of your customers. If your contractors continue to give poor output, it’ll eventually lead to unhappy customers and may affect your business reputation. 

With Best Compliments from The Coming of Noah's 2nd Ark - Sc-Fi novel on climate change and nuclear war currently available on Amazon.